As I reflect on the idea of asserting "no" in all its various ways, I realize that doing so can involve many mixed or even conflicting feelings internally. It can also affect and various outcomes externally - particularly with other people. And, if practicing your "no" is not yet accessible or feels threatening - even after doing it multiple times - please be gentle with yourself. Because, whatever the current tendency is that you notice, there was a valid reason that it developed in the first place.
Wherever you find yourself with this practice, I want to invite a consideration for you to plant, water or continue to nurture in the beautiful landscape that is you: When you say "no" to something, you're also saying "yes" to something. In other words, when your internal wisdom says "no" (even if that's not what you say out loud) what might you also be saying "yes" to?
Expanding beyond the "no" and including the "yes" might provide more insight into what you really want, need or even hope for. It may also support and soothe the feelings of discomfort that can come up when we assert ourselves, prioritize ourselves and express ourselves authentically.
Transitioning from the position of "either-or" to "both-and" (one of my favorite sayings) means shifting from the narrow and rigid parameters that we often inherit but did not ask for...and potentially expands us beyond what we previously imagined for ourselves. Just an invitation for curiosity and reflection...
If you would like to explore ways to support you with feeling confident in your "no", feel free to reach out today.
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